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Saturday, July 29, 2006
Silly Jokes
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?
The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all,"
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all,"
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up..
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?
What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
2. There are no dental records.
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up..
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?
What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
Lol
One night, President George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away.
The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.
The third night sleep is still not in the cards for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, what is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Help the less fortunate, as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist.
Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?
Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away.
The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.
The third night sleep is still not in the cards for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, what is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Help the less fortunate, as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist.
Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?
Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."
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